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And you don't even have to scream at the sky right now and throw up your hands and say, but, but, but.

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Because then you read about how this mom, this unspeakably sad and narcissistic creature of ignorance and silliness and savage karmic pain, actually demands that the waxer give her daughter — her prepubescent, pre-hormonal, nearly hairless 8-year-old daughter — a full bikini wax.

Everyone must have membership to the resort, which does background checks.

Every two weeks she explores a new topic — from beer to nudity to complicated grammar — and heads out to get some tips from the Germans themselves.

The little girl is so de-tuned from authentic girlhood already she just goes along for the ride.

While the baby stuff is fairly innocuous think cute diaper covers and onesies , the items intended for " filles" and " femmes" are more questionable.

'At the end of the day, without hope, you have nothing.

The truth here is as obvious as it is deeply entertaining: Bad parenting abounds, baby, and what's more, I say our culture needs psycho parents and their preening, hyperplucked kids simply because the culture needs future Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans and spoiled UCLA sorority girls with names like Dakota and Bree because, well, who else will we mock? And then there's the one about how some brain-dead super-rich moms in some upscale hoods in Philly are dragging their brutally primped 8-, 9-, 10-year-old daughters to the salon and getting their eyebrows plucked and their stray hairs yanked and their cuticles scraped and their skin peeled and making sure everything is frighteningly picture-perfect because the girls simply must be made flawless and creepy and preternaturally vacuous — you know, just like mom.

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